How to express difference, dissatisfaction, or hurt in ways that build, rather than break?
This is my big developmental question. Does this resonate with you? As a leader? As a partner? As a, well, human being? It’s a question circling my mind, especially after a challenging weekend. It makes me wonder, is the discomfort we feel in these moments inevitable?
The thing about leadership – and indeed, any deep relationship – is it often feels like navigating a boat through fog. You know you need honest transparency, that clear, crisp air that fills your lungs and keeps you alert. But how much is too much before it becomes a chilling wind, cutting through the warmth that keeps everyone comfortable?
Wrestling with these thoughts, I slowly realise – our reservoir needs to be fortified with trust and mutual respect before we even begin to navigate these choppy waters. This foundational trust – is it not something like the water beneath our boat? Deep and sometimes dark, but absolutely essential for any journey worth taking.
And when it comes time for tough conversations – which are as unavoidable as storms at sea – how do we ensure that not only is our reservoir full, but that everyone believes it will be refilled? This isn’t simply about strategy; it’s about cultivating a depth of connection. Regularly remembering and voicing our shared goals and celebrating the small victories that often go unnoticed. By me!
In my own developmental journey, I’m striving to include not just the voices of others, but also my own vital voice in my relationships and the dialogue of leadership. Engaging as an active developmental participant, whose stake is as significant as anyone else’s, can feel both daunting and essential. How often do we listen as closely to our own needs and insights as we do to those of others?
Without this regular nurturing, this inclusion, I’ve noticed how my resentment builds, like pressure in a closed system, until something gives. Something breaks! So, the art of leadership, and relationships more broadly, as I see it, isn’t just about steering the ship, but about ensuring every person on board feels they are part of plotting the course.
This brings us to a crossroads of sorts. How do we maintain this balance of give and take, of speaking and listening? It seems to me that the more we engage in striving to balance these deliberate practices, the more we learn, and the better we become – not just as leaders, but as people.
Moving forward, my commitment is to keep exploring this balance. To keep questioning how we can fill our collective cup, not just to the brim but overflowing. What practices can we adopt that enrich this reservoir of goodwill and trust? How can we ensure that every tough conversation leaves us not depleted but strengthened, hopeful and more connected?
And, so, the journey continues …